Answering Machines

My own recorded message has evolved over the years. At first, I was overflowing with enthusiam about having my own voice mail so naturally, the messages from this time period reflected that pure joy. They were constructed in iambic pentameter with sound effects and/or background music.

Eventually this excitement quickly burned out and was replaced by laidbackness. They were short and to the point - no frills here. It was as though I had just turned 13, marking the transition from hyperactive preteen to a cool and rebelish teenager with a hint of sarcasm.

Next my message entered Boringville, which essientally means it only contains the following said in a monotone voice:

"Hello. You have reached 555-5555. Please leave your name, number, and a short message, and I will get back to you in a timely manner." Snore.

Two outcomes result. Either I get no messages at all because everyone hangs up since I don't state my name in the recording. Or, I'll get plenty of messages but of this type:

"Oops, I didn't hear the beep go off because I was doodling on this piece of paper when I should have been listening for the tone. Crap, now it's recording silence. I wonder if they have caller id. Better hang up now anyway, just to be safe." Click.