Professors are the Spawn of Satan.

It's the only logical and possible explaination. They're lazy. They spend all their money to get exspensive degrees only to not do any actual work; they get TA's who correct all the homework, tests, etc. They were hired to teach, but their only goal is to publish so they use the university's equipment that my tuition money paid for. Sorry, but I didn't pay to go to a school so that profs can waste it discovering stupid things like whether or not water beetles die from swimming in jello. To me it's a pretty low and sneaky tactic employed by supposedly "well educated" people. Worse yet, they try tempting and convincing others to join in their evil ways.

I hate too, how they act as though they are so far above you. I may not have a waste of paper of a diploma, but I do have a brain; I am a person that deserves to be treated as one. We know that you know we don't want to be in your class. I'm only taking these boring courses because I have to fufill the stupid core requirements. There's no need to make it any harder for us students, afterall, there's nothing hard about teaching this class for you. You walk in - scribble two words on the blackboard, ramble on for 40 minutes and then finally you conclude by saying, "Oh yeah, there's no need to have been taking notes on this. It's not going to be on the exam." You've also upsetted the hippies in class, fueling their recycling campaign since every student in your 300+ lecture has just wasted three sheets of paper. When we fail, it's a reflection upon you too. It shows that not only were you incredably boring, but you also failed to connect with your pupils and make a difference in their lives. If you show interest, so will students.

Go Ahead...Be Cruel.

There's nothing wrong with animal testing. It's not cruel, but rather it's smart. Would you want the testing to be done on humans? I think not. There are reasons why we are at the top of the food chain. Without animal testing, we wouldn't know, at least accurately, whether or not products were safe. I'm not about to take the risk of disease, cancer (since EVERYTHING has been known to cause cancer in lab rats), or worse yet - death by not having animal testing. Call me selfish, but hey, I'm right. And I'd be willing to bet there are others out there who feel the same; they're just too afraid to come forward and say it in front of all these intimidating animal-loving hippies.

Something else that bugs me about hippies....their recycling campaign. Recycling is pointless. Most garbage companies that collect both trash and recyclables end up mixing them with the trash anyway, once they tote it out of sight. The hippies are so dedicated to their cause they overlook the fact that recycling takes up more energy than it would to just throw it all in a dump. So yes, by recycling we've saved what - one tree? But we've also wasted watts of energy that I could have used more productively by watching tv. Everything eventually decomposes. It then turns into soil that a future tree can plant its roots in. Grant it, plastics and metals take several hundred years, but it all eventually breaks down. So why fight nature? Just let nature take care of it. Mother nature is on a different time scale than humans. Volcanoes put more hazardous material into the air than humans could in centuries. Our contributioin is merely a flicker in the flame of global destruction.

Environmentalists can eat my shorts made from recycled fibers.

1492

Columbus Day is yet another unjustifiable American holiday.

Fist of all, he wasn't the first-to claim the world was round nor to discover America. Leif Erikson and the vikings set foot on American soil long before the corrupt Columbus. In addition, Native Americans had been living on the land for quite some time. (Native Americans technically are not native either, but that's a whole nother Blog entry!!!) He may have brought America to the attention of the "civilized" world; therefore, he should recieve the blame for starting the downward path of the western hemisphere. So why do we dedicate a holiday celebrating feats he did not achieve?

He didn't even technically land in America; he landed in the islands off the coast of Florida. And he thought he was in India, not that he had discovered new land. Why do we honor an idiot who couldn't put two and two together? India's demographics and the Bahamas aren't even remotely similar.

Some claim Columbus was a mass murderer. I think that's an understatement. Columbus was the Hitler of the 15th century. Before his arrival, there were millions of "native americans." It only took four decades after his ships set anchor to almost completely wipe them out. This is genocide on a much larger scale.

I must say there is one good thing about Columbus Day. It is the only holiday not taken over by the candy companies.